man bites monkey

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Monkey Song

Words fail me (and they almost failed the composer of this too...)

World's largest sock monkey

Nightmares for me again tonight...

Random word association #4: Golf

Congo the painting monkey


"Congo quickly learnt how to handle a brush and pencils, instead of knocking them over or trying to eat them. He painted within the boundaries of the sheet of paper, never allowing the paint to spill over the edge, and appeared to know when he had finished a painting - by refusing to pick up his brush or pencil over the work."

Friday, January 20, 2006

I'd buy that monkey for a dollar! #3

"A novel way to do your multiplication tables. This very smart monkey always has the right answer to any sum to 12x12. Just slide his feet to the sum and the answer shows in his hands."

And one way to get rid of baboons

From somewhere else on the internet:

"Then Charlotte remembered an old colonial remedy. She got a sack of oranges, scooped out a hole in the top of each one and poured in a little Tobasco sauce.

She placed them all around the camp and we went out to watch the lions.

When we got back the oranges were gone, but so were the baboons - permanently."

Never let man bite monkey be accused of not being educational.

One way to warm up your monkeys

From somewhere on the internet:

"Zookeepers took a similar approach, with some monkey magic, in the town of Lipetsk, south of Moscow.

Their macaque monkeys are being kept warm with sweet wine taken three times per day. "

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Happy birthday Chico!


"Bob Hoffmann has been throwing a party for Chico for about the last ten years. His customers love it, Chico loves it and besides, Chico isn't getting any younger."

This year, Chico obviously got given a chain and a woolly jumper.

Happy feet indeed


It's not entirely clear to me from this picture where you put your feet, but I want a pair anyway.

A tiny monkey, yesterday


All together now: "awwwwww...."

Get your stinking paws on this...


Although 13 out of this 14-disc set will be rubbish, how cool is the packaging....??

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Monkey Trumps #3 - Clyde




Clyde - Clint Eastwood's Orangutan co-star


Fear factor
  • 5
Cuteness
  • 3
Intelligence
  • 6
Toughness
  • 7
Ability to drink beer and start fights
  • 10

Delhi's monkey menace

"The presidential palace, too, has been targeted and staff there have been forced to employ a dark-faced langur monkey to scare away the rhesus monkeys."

More here.

Monkey pussy scrubber


Yes, that is a monkey washing a cat.

And happily, it is a still from a video clip, the music of which just adds to the overall hilarity.

Incidentally, I am expecting a lot more hits on this site after entitling this post as above.

Random word association #3: Pilot

Congratulations, Ms Goodall!


Primate expert Jane Goodall, after receiving the French Legion of Honour medal yesterday for her sterling work in simian-based research and for taking a stuffed monkey with her wherever she goes.

Get fit the monkey way

"The primates, they all do it - the orangutans, which is the closest to us, and the chimps," says Hamner. "They will wake up in the morning in expectation for, before any adventure, any sexual conquest, any physical conquest, before they eat, they'll start hitting their selves."

The grammatically challenged Doctor Dan Hamner has a few new ideas on how to keep fit.

But don't beat yourself up over it.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

I'd buy that monkey for a dollar! #2

Belated Christmas posting

Possibly what Santa would look like if he shaved his beard off.

Enjoy your melons, Richard!


Richard the gorilla after winning Prague Zoo's "big brother" style reality TV show.

Richard would like to thank his parents, his family, Darwin and all the others that made him what he is today.

The Annontated Mantooth

Being an everyday graphic novel tale of noir-style spy capers.

Starring a big gorilla.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Poo indeed


"Sock monkeys aren't quite a phenomenon yet," says Withrow. "But who knows what will happen?"

And man bites monkey will be there, helping you through the birth of the sock monkey phenomenon. Whether you like it or not.

Who ya gonna call?

Tracy the gorilla, of course.

Sunburnt monkeys

"Some chimps had developed the habit of covering up with a sack, but most of their day was spent lounging in the sun."

More here.

The name's Link, Lancelot Link


I am too young (and possibly not American enough) to remember this.

I do however note with rising excitement that DVDs of this are for sale on Amazon.

How do you do?

An article on bonobo monkeys, from somewhere on the internet:

"If humans do turn out to be genetically closer to the bonobo, Professor de Waal said, “it will overturn everything we’ve been saying for the past 40 years.

Bear in mind that bonobos know no inhibitions — they like sex any which way, with whoever is close by. While humans shake hands as a social greeting, Professor de Waal points out, “bonobos offer genital handshakes”."

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Whiplash the cowboy monkey in motion

Star of a previous post, here's a video of little ol' Whiplash in action.

Click here. Please.

Presumably more of a Spock Monkey

The owner of this site makes "Unique Sock Monkeys for Unique People!"

Obviously.

Revenge of the dressed-up monkeys

From somewhere on the internet:

"Most of Booth's encounters were curious rather than dramatic, like the incident of the plink-plonk man, a street musician with a monkey outfitted like a mandarin from the Ming dynasty. One day, as Martin watched, the monkey managed to bite through his leather leash. In a flash, he was up a tree, where, ignoring his master's pleading and cursing, he carefully disrobed and flung his costume to the street below, then sent a perfectly aimed stream of urine down on the man's upturned face, to the delight of the crowd."

Try a Monkey Shoulder and coke

Why, I don't mind if I do.