man bites monkey

Friday, March 03, 2006

Random word association #10: Shirt

En garde...

From somewhere else on the internet:

"Instead of being in a state of arousal only a day or two out of the month, like most non-human primate species, bonobo females are aroused - "in heat" - about half the time, advertising the fact with prominently swollen red butts.

No wonder bonobo males, too, often walk around in an obvious state of arousal. When two aroused males meet, they often end up playfully fencing with each other."

Scientists conclude: chimps are great

From somewhere on the interenet:

"For the first study, comparative psychologists Michael Tomasello and Felix Warneken of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany, had a caretaker drop a marker while a chimp looked on. All three chimps tested picked up the marker and gave it back. The chimps' behavior shows that they can understand the goals of another and do have some altruistic motivation."

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Dog and monkey in no harmony whatsoever

Man and monkey in perfect harmony

I think it's a facial hair thing.

Microchipped monkeys

"Scientists from The University of Queensland are developing an enrichment and husbandry system that can dispense food, toys and medicine depending on the needs of individually microchipped animals."

This sounds like yet another apocalyptic nightmare waiting to happen: armies of android computer-controlled monkeys, hellbent on overthrowing their human masters.

Seconds after this picture was taken, for instance, this young lady was ripped to shreds.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Jocko Flocko, monkey racer

"Jocko Flocko was a Rhesus monkey and remains the only known "co-driver" in NASCAR history. On May 16, 1953, Jocko helped Tim win the Grand National race at Hickory, N.C. - becoming the only winning monkey to date. Unfortunately, Jocko was forced to retire from "driving" duties two weeks later in Raleigh, N.C. Tim Flock recalls the incident..."

Which can be read here.

Now fully handleable and working

"Specializing in fully handleable working chimpanzees. Let our chimps amaze you with their skills & personalities."

Yes, yes - but how much to rent one for a week??

Monkey, Gorillaz, Shaolin Monks...

It's almost too much excitement at once.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Random word association #9: Hockey

Takes ages to get them lit though

Whilst chimps content themselves with smoking peanuts, gorillas much prefer the cool, mellow flavours of a fine hand-rolled carrot...

Juice or bottom? Tough call...

From somewhere else on the internet:

"Next, the researchers took photographs of the macaques and loaded them into a computer program. Some females were photographed from behind, so that the image showed a close-up of their hindquarters. Other pictures were head shots of both males and females.

Four of the male monkeys then sat in front of computer screens. They were rewarded with juice whenever they shifted their gaze from one image to another. Some images resulted in more juice than other photos.

When given the choice between a photo of a low-status male with a high juice reward and a photo of a female's hindquarters, the male test subjects refused the extra juice so that they could gaze at the sexy female images."

No bigfoot hunting - penalty $2,500

From somewhere on the internet:

"Foreigners will face jail sentences in Malaysia if they hunt the legendary ape man "Big Foot" in the jungles of Johor state.

The state's Forestry Department says Big Foot enthusiasts found on its land without a permit will face up to three years jail or a fine of $2,500."

Sounds like a conspiracy to me....what is the Malaysian Forestry Department afraid of those foreign bigfoot hunters really finding...?

Monday, February 27, 2006

I'd buy that monkey for a dollar! #9

"Our studio is located in Xiamen, the biggest painting center in the world, now about 20 percent of oil painting in the world are from Xiamen, and over 7,000 artists live and work here. Our studio has more than 20 signed artist and they can paint all kinds of painting."

And all 7,000 of them were on strange Chinese medication when they produced this delightful work, entitled "The Lovely Monkey"


"Admittedly "Minky," the ape-star of Spymate, knows a few tricks (a few more than the director, anyway). He can hold a gun and gives great "soul shake." But devoid of anything except a premise, Spymate answers the question of how long kids will be entertained by the sight of a clever chimp alone."

Never mind the kids, the sight of a clever chimp would entertain me for hours.